Although I agree wholeheartedly with your comments, I think the Native community needs to be aware of NPD. Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I have been with my Native man for 39 years it wasn't until 2012, I realized he was not the man I married. Clean cut, handsome, very stable, a hard worker. As the decades have passed and our children, grandchildren were no longer in need of a caregiver. My disabled brother regained enough strength to live on his own. My parents long since passed on along with my aunt who had no children of her own. I learned words such as "gaslighting" "covert narcissism" "hovering" "crazy making" the list goes on. I always pushed back the feelings I had after each shouting match. I read something early this morning that explained emotional abuse very clearly for me. This is for adults because children it is different. There is an unwritten contract between the victim and abuser. The abuser projects onto the victim his/her hurts. See the abuser REALLY BELIEVES their small problem was made much bigger by the victim. The victim feels they need to help the abuser to feel better. That is the victim's role to help the abuser change. But the abuser will never change or at least the cards are stacked against them. This type of abuse is growing in America. I plan on researching why, see I have four grandchildren that need to be aware of such trickery. There are many books, facebook pages & live groups to join. The victims of this type of abuse are severely emotionally, mentally and physically adhered for life. I suffer from chronic pain, multiple sclerosis, arthritis, depression and anxiety. Now looking back I wonder all the operations, pills, chemo, IV drip therapies, counseling sessions, and PTSD were from nearly four decades of physical and emotional abuse. Please google these keywords and go into the light of all the therapies and groups that are listed. You will learn that it isn't you! It never was you! It has nothing to do about you!
I did not write this post above. A person who read my blog and posted on it the comments section wrote this piece above responding back to a blog I wrote discussing Native women feeling unworthy in relationships.
However, this blog above touches on very important points of red flags. When the abuser makes you feel like the abuser while making himself the victim. This is so real! Have you ever dated a dude that no matter what, he made you feel like you're trippin'? Ok, sometimes ladies, let's be real, at times we do and those are valid. However, have you ever dated a dude who CONSISTENTLY made you feel that you were trippin'? Ok, that's a red flag (mmmhmmm). I'm having flashbacks of my experiences. Emotional abuse is REAL. We need to recognize those acts and not make excuses. She stated her adverse physical health conditions. Mind you, our stress manifests itself in many ways, and impacts on our physical health is a real outcome of bad relationships, whether it is romantic, work related, family, etc...Unhealthy relationships, no matter what type, are red flags.
The woman above used terms, such as "gaslighting" and "covert narcissim" which are all valid terminology. However, to keep it simple and basic as a mothafucker, if the relationship makes you sad-cry-question-doubt-depressed-etc, then listen to your gut instinct, because you're probably right! Listen to yourself. Bottom line, you'll know the boundary of relationships if the bad outweighs the good. You'll know. Trust yourself. Don't doubt yourself. Until next time ladies - Love, Peace, and Mutton Grease!
The woman above used terms, such as "gaslighting" and "covert narcissim" which are all valid terminology. However, to keep it simple and basic as a mothafucker, if the relationship makes you sad-cry-question-doubt-depressed-etc, then listen to your gut instinct, because you're probably right! Listen to yourself. Bottom line, you'll know the boundary of relationships if the bad outweighs the good. You'll know. Trust yourself. Don't doubt yourself. Until next time ladies - Love, Peace, and Mutton Grease!
