When you get a bit older, a bit more established career and financially, and know the direction you want your life to go, intimidation-fear-confusion may integrate into your feelings. Everything is going the way you want so you become "scared" to mess up that direction with something as uncertain as a partnership. Love and relationships are not always guaranteed to be sustainable. Therefore, for someone like myself, it becomes a huge gamble that I'm not exactly sure that I want to take. The stereotype may be that men are usually filled with these uncertainty symptoms that I'm talking about, but as a female, I'm exhibiting those same type of symptoms. I've been single for about 5 years. Meaning, my last long-term, significant relationship was 5 years ago, but I have dated people these past 5 years, obviously. I"m not a hermit, LOL. I know I use my career as an excuse to avoid "dating." My career and my time I input into it definitely take priority but I have met one guy in the past 5 years that became a priority too. But, it ended, like the same old story goes. Currently, I have a great prospect. We dated 4 years ago for a few months....like 9 or 10 according to him because I could not remember how long we dated, which is bad. Dating him was not bad but I was thought he was my "rebound" guy and I really did not think of him as a long-term person. Plus, he moved out-of-state, so that is the reason why we ultimately stopped seeing each other. This guy and I have always been cool, texting now and then, and I'll see him around when he visits Las Vegas. He moved to build his career and I have been doing me in my career.
The background of this guy: handsome, man-of-color, college educated from a Big 10 school, about 5"11" in height, no kids, never been married, early 40's, great full-time job-plus owns 2 up and growing businesses (including a weed dispensary), home owner, good credit, loves watching football and basketball, and likes to travel (especially to sporting events). He is a great catch.
He has been texting me LOT lately, daily. I am flattered, indefinitely. We both are career focused and have a lot in common. But, I'm hesitant for some reason. Maybe I am intimidated to like someone or love someone again, that I just shy away from it as a defense tactic. And maybe I'm also fearful of liking someone or loving someone because I know the possible outcomes due to personal experience. Or maybe I'm just confused that I am not sure of what I want. Or maybe it is everything meshed in one complex ball! I know I want to do well in my career and I do not want a person to get in my way of that. LOL, I am sounding a bit dramatic right now, I know. But, LADIES, do you remember when you were crushed with hurt in a relationship? Or you had anxiety due to your relationship because you did not know what to do with your piece of s*** man? I just think of all that mess I once dealt with and think, "Oh geez, I choose to not put myself in that position again."
Hi, my name is Crystal and I'm intimidated, fearful, and confused about this whole dating thing.
