As a person of color, "how down are you?" In multiple ways this has been a question we're always asked indirectly or directly, in different spaces, multiple times. For me, it's not always asked of me, but it's what I do indirectly. Do I go to ceremonies? Do I know my language? Do I go back to the Rez often? Am I connected to my community? Do I know how to make frybread? Do I work with Natives? Yes-I do all of those things because that's me, before the professional me has evolved. When I state, professionally, it seems when you reach a certain "level" of professional stature or economic stature in your life, people often want to know if you're a "sell-out" or not, which is understandable, because before I "made it", I often wondered the same about folks from my family and/or community. How down are you? This is often a general encounter in our community of what contexts are involved in that aspect. However, others do involve physical aspects. Can you chop wood? Haul water? Use the out-house? And...maybe even whoop someone's ass, if needed.
A person of color and how down they are has been a position I believe every person of color has been situated in, in some form or fashion. Your people want to know you haven't forgotten who you are or where you come from, which is definitely understandable. I get it. I respect it. I acknowledge it.
However, then when does "how down are you?" compromise yourself in a situation? What if you have to scrap to prove that? How does that possibly impact your career or where you're at in your life?
I had an interesting situation happen to me today. I met an LA-ish man of Hispanic descent. We talked for about an hour. Towards the end of our conversation, he started calling me "bougie", telling me in reference to talking to me stating "I don't talk Caucasian", telling me I probably only have friends who's names are "Becky, Tom, Kevin", telling me "I live on the good side of the tracks." Why all that? Because I may talk proper? Because he recognized my designer purse/wallet/shoes? Because he saw me drive my Jaguar (which he mentioned)? I felt side-way offended in a way but I also thought, hey, us, as persons of color, we always are know we are not White, and among our own communities or other communities of color, how much we're judged just as much-if not more at times. This man does not know me or how many fights I've been in, or what decisions I made to be where I'm at, what I did to be where I am, what I've sacrifice to be where I am, or how I grew up, or who my friends are-and my friends are not the Becky's, Kevin's, or Tom's. Just because I don't talk like a "hood-rat" or a "gang-banger" does not mean I'm not down. I can still scrap on the drop of a dime and protect myself. Currently, me being down may not be as physical as I once was, but it means being an advocate for your people in a space we're not always visible. Being vocal and present about political issues to truly make a change in our persons of color world. However, I could still whoop a bitch's ass, if needed, but I don't need to do that, LOL~! End of story, no matter what, we always have to prove ourselves to our communities and to White people on both ends of the spectrum.
P.S. These types of situations deeply impact my relationships because I prefer a man who can understand my daily lived experiences of having to live in dual and multiple worlds 100% of the time. I need a man of color I can vent to and state, "I know I'm a professor and research doctor and am a professional BUT I come from this community-and that, to where it's different, and we do have to be not a sell-out and still be down...."
