How Can We Rise?

Why do we hate amongst each other instead of congratulate? I have so many peoples of mine who are non-supportive….these are real situations going on in my community. Why is that? How come we cannot at times thoroughly support each other? How come we either ignore the accomplishments of our friends/families/peers and act sideways? Is jealously that deep? That raw? As Natives, we are so far and in between, but we have to hate that deep? Oh she pretty…..we don’t like her. Oh she educated…..we don’t like her. Oh she dresses well….we don’t like her. Oh she has a nice body….we don’t like her. Oh she not Native enough……we don’t like her. Oh she this and she that and whatever! Get over it! Stop hatin! Your sister probably awesome. Your cousin probably awesome. Your friend probably awesome. Everyone probably awesome. Maybe you may say she is but by you not supporting also means something. I personally support all my peoples and all my sisters, brothers, fam, and friends who are doing wonderful things because they deserve it!! Have I had the same virtue…it’s relative. Regardless I still love they hatin selves. I would give them the shirt off my back but I question if they would do the same? I support my people. Sometimes I wish they do the same. It's a negative epidemic ongoing in our communities. It’s cool, I know who does care, and that’s all I need. I know who loves me. Supports me. Someone important told me that a lot of people close to me are not real, they will criticize me behind closed doors, want me to not be successful, and are not supportive. That person told me to have thick skin. That person told me they love me, no matter what. Real talk. This all sensitive talk tho and I believe a lot of people may feel uncomfortable with this conversation. We hold ourselves down a lot of the times instead of uplift each other. If the people close to you choose to criticize you and not support you, no matter who they are, keep it moving and DO YOU! Life is too short for all this unnecessary drama. Regardless if it's family, friends, or whomever....Just another one of the challenges us Native women go through. The crab syndrome: meaning when you try to get out of a bucket all the other crabs try to pull you back down. It seems sometimes our own Native peeps don't want us to succeed. 

A male BFF

I have a male best friend. We became best friends because I met him through a former bestie of mine (me and that former bestie are no longer friends) and they used to date, kinda. My male BFF lives in the south and when I temporarily lived in the south he helped me out a lot by; taking me grocery shopping (I did not have a car), cooking for me, staying at his house on weekends, doing my laundry at his house, taking me to his buddy’s cookouts, etc. From that point on our friendship grew extra tight. I started calling him a LOT so he could give me relationship advice about all the knuckleheads I was dating. In fact, I still call him for random advice. He knows everything about me from my best to my worst! He’s college educated, tall, handsome, employed with a 401(K), good credit, no kids, and a homeowner. Sounds good on paper, right? We have lightly talked about how male/female friendships are difficult because someone may be attracted or develop romantic feelings for the other person. In reality, can you be best friends with the opposite sex if you’ve met them after the age of 25? I can understand if you’ve been friends since childhood, but if you’ve met in adulthood, then can true friendship exist without any of the romantic intentions? Or eventually will someone think or feel something outside those friendship boundaries? Last night I called my male BFF and asked him if he loved me (not in a romantic way but as a friend) and mind you, my male BFF is NOT a expressive man, in fact, he’s kind of emotionless. He told me, “Yes Bushy, I love you.” I was actually shocked he answered my question (lol) because we’ve been friends for 8 years and he rarely verbally expresses any kind of sentimental emotions. However, his actions do show he cares about me because I call him all hours of the night with a 3 hour time difference between us and he almost always answers my phone calls. He'll listen to me cuss, cry, vent, and blabber. Sometimes I talk about girl stuff and I wonder why he'll stay on the phone with me for as long as he does because he's a dude, and dudes don't normally do this, especially guys like him. I think we’ve both thought at some point “what if” we both crossed the line? Would our friendship be the same? Of course not, because once those lines have been crossed, then that door will always be open. I can’t imagine losing our friendship. I don’t want to put our friendship in jeopardy by doing/saying something that will make it awkward.