Awkward BABY!

I have a position that is something I am not willing to give up. In being a Native woman, I have always wanted a full-blooded Native baby! Yes, I have dated Native men and love them but maybe it has not been in my destiny to “marry” one at this point. Regardless, of who I am and was dating, I have always known that I still wanted to have my full-blooded Native baby, either through artificial insemination or adoption.


I had a Black boyfriend and I communicated this at the beginning of our relationship and he must have thought I would have changed my mind as the relationship continued, but I didn’t. My mindset was you made your decision to have your kids before me and I made this decision before you but I didn’t have a chance to follow through with it. I respect you, your decision to have kids, and your kids, so why can’t you respect mine? I feel it’s no disrespect against you but this has been MY decision before you and I am not saying that you and I can’t have a child together because I would have your child in addition to my Native baby. I am not sure if this hurt his ego or anything but this discussion was meant to hurt no one, but merely to communicate my stance.

Years into our relationship we had a deep talk about it again (mind you he is a very prideful Black male and happy to be who he is). He stated “You know I love you to even be considering this...but I do not think I could ‘deal’ with you having another man’s baby in you…and when my friends say ‘congratulations’ but I say it’s not really my baby...I mean that’s a lot...have you thought about that?” He continues to say “But those things are not even really my real issues...my real issue is when you have this baby I will raise it and love it as if it will be my own and I will be the father...however, what if we don’t work out? Will you take that child out of my life because I am not the biological father and I will not have any rights to the child...have you thought about that?” So, I figured maybe adopting a child in this situation would be the better choice?

On a similar note, there was a situation that one of my niece’s friends (a Navajo girl) who was in junior high school. She came from an abusive family that had her going to and from different homes so my family embraced her and took her in. I told my family I would consider adopting her if she needed a stable place to stay and my boyfriend completely supported me in that decision and said “If you need any help then I’m here and I support your decision.” I thought “WOW…that is great to know!”

On another note, I have this Native male friend who is attractive, single, no kids, employed, and around my age. So, at one point I asked him if we were both single at a later date and had no kids, then would you ever consider being my sperm donor? He stated, “He would consider it and he would like to have a full-blooded Native baby as well.” Then we had a discussion again after he knew I had a Black boyfriend and he had a problem with this hypothetical arrangement because he said, “I would have an issue with a Black man raising my baby…have you thought about that?” I felt he would have an issue with ANY man raising his baby and this might be too close to home and was probably not the best idea to ask someone you know.

WELL, apparently there are MANY things for me to consider and many people’s feelings for me to consider! Conversations are still on-going…

Communication Blunders!

SO communication, communication, communication in a relationship is quite tricky at times or maybe all the time! After bickering and arguing on and off, you begin to notice that each of you do not or do not want to understand each other! How can you truly communicate with your partner so your view makes sense to them and vice versa? Seriously, I say blue and he hears black and vice versa. When I communicate something the other person completely hears and receives what I say as something else, in which, they may get defensive, mad, or confused. I attest that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Do all couples have a communication gap in their relationship? I suppose because you are taking two completely different people and spend day in-day out with this person and you will naturally incur issues, however, how do you work out your issues when your communication cue is off?