Conversation wth a young, Native Am. professional male

I recently met this Native male. He is tall, handsome, intelligent, asset to all tribal communities, well known in tribal communities, young (between age of 32-35), and is all about empowering Native people. In other words, he’s awesome and I truly commend him on all the hard work he’s doing on behalf of our tribal people. I respect people like him as an individual and Native brother because it’s rare to meet a Native dude who has their career going on like he does at a young age.

At dinner, I had to ask him his stance on dating/relationships because I rarely get the young, professional, Native male version. He said he “messes” with non-Native females but would never seriously date anyone other than a Native girl and sees himself with a Native girl. *Interesting I thought as I sat there with my dude who is not Native and I wondered what he was thinking as the Native dude spoke and I questioned my relationships as well.

Second night of dinner, I asked the Native dude again about relationships/dating, this time without my dude present but there were other Native females at the table as it was a group dinner. I stated that I’m tired of men (minority, especially Native men) who have done well for themselves but who have this “God’s gift to earth” persona because their one of few Native males who got their shit together. He said “I have the right to be picky”, which is true as anyone does. Also, he said, “I want to meet a Native female who’s educated, can carry an intelligent conversation, likes to travel, and does not exude DRAMA…and you think this would be easy to find but it isn’t..because I travel a lot in my job and I have brought my previous girlfriends along to my travels and when random females come approach me after a presentation I did my previous girlfriends start to get mad and say ‘oh this what happens all the time you travel?’…so many Native females have been affected by domestic violence that they are messed up…from growing up to especially their ex-boyfriends who verbally/physically abused them that they have a lot of baggage, which is drama…and I do not put up with drama and I am not the male to do this to any female but I have to say I did not put you through all the crap you have been through..,so as soon as they start acting in this manner I start to run the other way.”

Wow…I thought! This is true! Were always pointing the finger at males it seems. I never heard this from a Native male before, especially an accomplished one. Maybe us Native females (as stated previously in another blog) are way too jaded due to our past experiences with bullcrap men that we all categorize them in the same space. Ladies, what do you think???!

Ode to my Father who taught me the game of men and to be strong ass Native girl!

I don’t know how to feel about this. 99.9% of Black or Native men I have dated do NOT date White women (never have or never will) and I never would date a man that has did this consciously after a certain age because before I never really knew the dynamics of the “outside” world of my comfort zone, the REZ. I never knew such historical issues of oppression existed to the depth of existence it did and how it currently plays a huge part of our Native daily lives until I got extremely educated on disparities issues and lived outside the REZ. Although, I knew I was aware of the certain racial issues to a certain extent because my father would set me aside and let me know the best he could of the “outside” world. He would teach me the REAL history because he was educated, read my elementary/junior high school curriculum text books and tell me what was REAL and what was sugar-coated (my dad would sweat the crap out of my teachers/principles and they would be mad scared of him), he would tell me as a Native woman (minority female) how hard it would be for me in the REAL world so I got to get extra tough to deal with it with his Navajo teachings along the way. He taught me the importance of an education! He was mean and loving at the same time. Also, in addition he would tell me how men are in terms of relation to females; he would tell me what they think (tellin me all men want to do is have sex so you need to watch out, fuck them, do you, be a financially stable independent Navajo woman), teach and tell me their game, and taught me to never ever be that woman that is vulnerable and put up with any bullshit because my DAD taught me that. SO, this blog is about a man that taught me the game and how men are. My dad kept it real. He taught me how to street fight and how to box because he said you are my daughter and you have to defend yourself. He taught me how to drive in snow by taking me to a bare parking lot and driving fast in a car then me pressing on the break so the car would spin so I learned how to control the car if it got out of control. He taught me to watch politics and learn to be socially aware of current events. He taught me to be hard in a lot of ways by waking me up at 5 am every morning and run towards the east sun and pray with corn pollen. He taught me to be a strong Navajo woman as a male version, but also my MOM taught me a LOT as well. SO, this is an ode to my father but stay tuned for a strong Navajo woman (mother) who is my rock.