Dress?

I just came back from NYC this past weekend and I have been contemplating on the kind of men who approach me whether it’s here or anywhere. I started to think do these men approach me because of the places I go, what I wear, how I act, what I say, or how I say it?

For instance, I tend to go to really laid back joints, like sports bars or dive bars mainly to watch sporting events and I do NOT dress up. In fact, most of the time I wear hats because these places are so laid back that I figure I do not need to go all out and plus I’m comfortable just throwing a hat, jeans, sneakers, or whatever on. A confession, I am in this laid back funk too so even if I go to nicer venues during happy hour times, I still tend to dress extremely laid back while majority of the females are wearing heels and dressed nice while I’m wearing sneakers and a hat. So does that mean if a professional male looks at me wearing a baseball hat and sneakers then he will perceive me as a “hood” chick? Or in his eyes, someone “not datable” because he wants a “grown woman” who is doing her thing, which I am but he probably would not know that unless he speaks to me.  I must admit I’m torn between what I like to wear because it’s comfortable and should I be judged based on that? Unfortunately, we do live in a judgmental and stereotypical society. I mean I do not necessarily want a man who’s ALWAYS wearing jerseys/hats (I’m dating men in their 30’s+ now). So does that saying in my most recent blog , "Become the reflection of what you want in your mate" reference a point here? Hmmm.

 Also, at this point I am in a place where I really like laid back places that have the cheapest prices in food/alcohol as well. With this being said it’s highly unlikely I will find a man I would like to date at these types of places. There are so many logical things to think about on these matters stating if I want to date a man who’s financially stable then he’s more likely to be at more “classy” venues? Is he? Unless he likes sports and cheap drinks and good food like me, then who would not want to go there?! IDK that's just me speaking. If I want a professional male then he’s most likely not going to rock a fitted and a jersey? If a professional male wants a “lady” then he’s most likely not going to take me as such if I’m wearing a fitted and sneakers?

 I suppose my final opinion on these matters is just keep being me, dressing how I dress, talk how I talk, walk how I walk because that’s what makes me ME. Whenever I find my mate he will love ALL of what makes me ME. I don’t want to compromise my comfortableness or my style because that is part of an expression of who I am.

But I am not going to lie this is complex and deeper than just how a person dresses. It’s that annoying truth that people are always judging you, stereotyping you, gaging you based on YOU. I think that is what I’m most bothered about but what people think is them and I do me. I’m different. I’m unique. I am a pioneer. I am not a follower.

 

 

Reflection

I spoke to my home girl yesterday and she stated, “She is becoming a reflection of the man she wants to be with.” Her progressive actions towards this philosophy are definitely awesome! I really like this expression because if I want a man that is financially stable then maybe I should be too? If I want man with great credit then I should have great credit myself? If I want a man that is “fit” then maybe I should workout too? If I want a man that does not drink then maybe I should not too? In a nutshell, you should try to be the person that conveys all the traits you want in a partner and start to work towards those individual traits among yourself so you can be ready to receive your partner when he/she appears into your life. Obviously, some traits may be harder to achieve than others but in a nutshell prepare yourself to be the best person YOU can be so it makes you that much more “ready” and compatible to your current/future partner. These important preparation and maintenance practices are assets we could ALL work on. Remember that common saying that the people you surround yourself by are a reflection of you and this includes your partner

 “BECOME A REFLECTION OF THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE WITH.”