Blue Collared or No?

I have a Native male friend who has his graduate degree and he told me that he would not date any female who was not a “professional.” I have a female friend who is a woman of color who stated when she was dating, she would not date a man if he did not at least possess a Bachelor’s degree (she got married and her husband became a lawyer). I get my friends position on finding a mate because possessing a degree enables you to automatically think: economic stability, access to more opportunities, and ambition.

 

I’ve dated jobless men, blue collared men, and professional men. I find this conversation interesting because is this mind frame of thinking indicate we are separating ourselves into a class system? Financial issues are the main cause of divorce. I go back and forth on this because I know plenty of great men who did not possess a college education, but my father has his law degree. But, if you ever met my dad, then you would not think he has his law degree because he’s a down to earth, country, and rugged manly man.

 

As a Native is it: stuck-up, boosie, superficial, elitist way of thinking to want to date/marry someone who mirrors you in your education and/or socio-economic status class? Or do my friends have a point to indicate that finances do matter and that is the smart thing to do?

Transition

I was and am terrified of change. Any type of change can be scary because you are treading on unchartered territory that your mental, physical, or emotional self are not used to. I was becoming anxious, confused, direction-less, and scared because such a huge part of my life was ending, which was being a student. I was in college for 14 years with 4 degrees behind me. Over the past few months I couldn’t imagine getting into a relationship because I didn’t know about my stability…would I move? Stay? Would I be ok financially? I was focused on my own stability, so I couldn’t think about anyone else’s, therefore, had a mentality that I do want to settle down (sooner than later) but due to my future’s uncertainty I have been hesitant.

 

Being in a transition period can be scary but exciting at the same time because it opens up new doors to new opportunities. This can be true about relationships, new job, etc…However, my brain was scattered because I do know what I want but at the same time I don’t…if that makes any sense? But, I had faith that everything will work out how it is supposed to work out.

 

I recently (yesterday) got offered an amazing opportunity to be a Post-Doc at UCLA School of Medicine doing HIV prevention combination research! I will be working at one of the top 15 medical/research schools in the nation doing global health research with top scientists in the world. This was not an easy opportunity to get selected for as my competition were among people who also had their Ph.D  or M.D. degrees and I’m sure they all had great professional/academic experience under their belt. I am in dis-belief I got selected because my competition was definitely talented.  Plus, I can still live in Las Vegas, work on small projects related to HIV, and teach a Native American Studies course at UNLV. All while I’ll still be doing my minimal work with the United Nations in NYC. This is a professional dream come true. My hard work of going to school and being broke all those years has enabled me to have this dream job to work at prestigious academic and international institutions, plus I’m still “young.” I’m so elated that a girl like me, “Rez girl”, that grew-up on the Rez, could ever be in a position like I am today. I sacrificed so much for me to be sitting here today in this capacity. I am blessed and owe all my success to my family because they also sacrificed and prayed and did whatever they could to help me. I owe them everything.

 

I have to express my successes and my joy, not because I’m bragging, but because I worked hard for it. I am passionate about my work to make contributions to the world, especially Native communities. I remember when I was a broke-broke student in undergrad at ASU and only lived off $20/week but I had a dream and goals to become a Dr. one day no matter what it took. I remember when I moved to Las Vegas for my Master’s program and I had to put a $60 gold charm on lay-away at a pawn shop because I couldn’t afford it so I put $12 down on my lay-away. Now, I know I’m ready to take on this new journey of my career path.  I am ready to see what dating in L.A. is like as well…this should be an interesting twist to my path…stay tuned ! Also, just know that you are capable of achieving your goals, but you have to believe in yourself and do the work it takes to obtain your goals! Cheers my friends!