Single Ladies Embrace Your "Loneliness"

I went grocery shopping and I observed couples shopping together and I saw singles shopping alone (I assume they were based on their choice of groceries, especially men, they always buy the frozen pizza/foods). I walked out into the chilly air pushing my grocery cart and I felt a sense of overwhelming loneliness. Not lonely for my family but lonely to be with a significant other. I had to check myself.

Two weeks ago my sister asked me if I wanted to go to the club. Mind you, I had been out the previous weekend all weekend with other friends from out of town. I thought, ugh, I been out way too much this past week. But, I went anyway. I went because I thought there will be a time when I won’t possess this sense of unwavering freedom. I imagine I will be in a committed relationship or married or with a kid at some sooner than later in my life. That means I have to eventually put those relationships first. That means I have to possibly wake up at 3 am to feed my child. That means I have to check with my husband/family first before I decided to go dancing in the middle of the night with my girls. That means my life will revolve around my family and not me anymore.

When I went dancing two weeks ago I decided to embrace my super single-ness by not apologizing for being out with my friends on a week night. This evening I reflected on my loneliness and I decided to embrace it. I decided I should because I can do whatever I want whenever I want at this point in my life and not have to explain myself to anyone but myself. Not too many people have that freedom in their lives, and that’s a great thing, but I do and that’s also a great thing. SO, ladies if you’re feeling the loneliness crawling out in your thoughts, then remember you’re also lucky to enjoy your life the way you want to. You’re able to spend your money on you. You’re able to spend your time the way you want to. You are able to enjoy your own company. You’re able to be as selfish as you want and not feel guilty for it. You’re able to work on yourself and concentrate on your personal, professional, and academic goals as much as you want. You’re able to meet a friend at midnight at a bar and have glasses of wine. You’re able to travel at the drop of a dime. Embrace this ladies because you may be married with a kid soon and not have this luxury you once thought was so negative. Cheers dolls! Stay beautiful.

Valentine's Day Non-Date

I had a deep thought last weekend. I thought “Can I just meet a guy who wants to commit, we have a lot in common and have his shizz together? Then, I meet a tall, 32 year old, college graduate, played college football, and has owned/ran his own successful sports marketing firm successfully for 10 years. He has his own office and has employees. We went out for drinks last night.

I am not going to lie, he annoyed me at times LOL. We both have very strong personalities because we are both successful in our own right and our personalities clashed at times, well, a lot of the time. He stated, “Are you going to fight with me all the time?” We weren’t literally fighting but debating and/or we kept challenging each other on our stated positions. I found that annoying at times but intriguing at times. At one point we were talking about the “strip club” and I had my views and he had his. I got extremely annoyed and with attitude said, “Ok, we’re done here, I’ll pay for my own drinks, and you have a good night.” I had every intention of leaving. I asked the bartender to close out our tabs separately, which he did. I put my cash down and the guy says “Ok, you’re not leaving me…we’re not going to agree on everything and I’m paying for your tab because I’m a gentleman so put your $$ away.” LOL he shut me down quick!

That was kind bold and hot at the same time.

One thing I kinda had trouble with was when he said, “I’m a man and whatever I say goes.” Then I said, “Where I come from, whatever I say goes.” We both started laughing. I can tell if we continue to talk there will probably be a bit of a “power” struggle. However, I told myself if a man can lead us in the right direction financially, commiting-ly, relationanship-ly, and respectfully, I have no problem letting him lead us. I’m tired of being the leader so I can happily sit back and enjoy the process instead of always being the stronger one or the one in a better position. I will continue to talk to this intriguing man as a friend and see what happens….

Listen to your Gut

I was talking/dating this Native guy (big mistake) for a few months. I thought I’d give a Native brother a chance, you know? I visited him right before Christmas and while I was at his apartment, he got a gift delivered from his “ex-girlfriend.” That didn’t sit well with me. I put two and two together and listened to my gut, which told me: He is still talking to her, or he still with her, or he still has strong feelings with her, OR ALL OF THE ABOVE. After I found the package I immediately left back to Vegas after I told him what I found. The guy was calling me and texting me telling me I’m trippin’ and I over re-acted about a person who is no longer a part of his life, blah, blah blah. I didn’t believe him. For a few weeks these texts and phone calls continued but I told this person, I can only be his friend, nothing more. Recently, I got a call from this guys’ “ex-girlfriend” telling me they never broke-up! Basically, he was cheating on her all this time with me, while lying to both of us. The thing is, I wasn’t mad about it and I didn’t even care. I felt this way because I knew this when I saw she sent him a gift. I listened to my gut. I literally had no feelings of anger or anything, but I felt extremely bad for his girlfriend because she invested years into that relationship. I also didn’t care because I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend, which is the person that will always make my knees weak. LOL I thought to myself, I’m way too grown to be in this situation to have a girl call me over some dude. My point is, ladies, listen to your gut. It may save you from yourself and other deceitful people…..