Part 1: Shortage of educated, financially stable, minority men?

Sooooo many of my friends say that want an “educated, financially stable, minority man, good credit, never been married, with no kids” to start with. When my Native friends say it, they are referring to Native men and when my Black friends say it, they are referring to Black men. Also, don’t let me get into “he has to be at least 6 ‘2’+, fine, nice teeth, faithful, funny, understanding, nice body, have swag, etc…” Ladies, you get my point! I personally think this man is IMPOSSIBLE to find.

Let me break it down to 3 case-study examples. No names will be stated for player code safety. Yeah, I honor the player code because you know WHY!

Guy #1. A family member of mine (obviously a full-blooded Navajo) who is in his 50’s, tall (6’3’ish), handsome (for his age), educated (Law degree obtained), financially stable, owns own house, good credit, divorced, 1 kid that left the nest, culturally knowledgeable, has swag (I am oblivious to it but I know his women do see it), and can build a house from scratch. Sounds like a catch? Well, if yes, then you and every woman around his age range also think that and he knows it!

Guy #2. My friend who is Black, in his 30’s, tall (6’4’ish), good-looking, owns his own house, good credit, educated (Bachelor’s degree obtained), no kids, and never been married. Well, I have to admit because I am so close to this person I cannot see his ‘swag’ because I am like his sister but other females he talks to does. I’m oblivious to it so I guess he does. Sounds like a catch? Well, if yes, then you and every woman around his age range also think that and he knows it!

Guy #3. A guy my friend once dated. I do not know him but know OF him. He’s full-blooded Native American (do not know tribe), in his 30’s, tall (6 ‘5’ ish), educated (Law degree obtained from Ivy League school), has swag, and handsome. I do not know about his kid status although I do not think he had/has any. Sounds like a catch? Well, if yes, then you and every woman around his age range also think that and he knows it!

Since I know Guys #1 & 2 personally I will elaborate more on their similar situations. They both date multiple women. Guy #1 has a main girl and Guy #2 has a semi-main girl.

I had a convo with guy #1 regarding one of his girlfriends I met in the past (whom I really liked) and this gal really loved him. This girl would call me and tell me how much she loves him. However, he did not feel the same. He was telling me how she would become clingy and he told her “Your not my girlfriend..there’s the door if you don’t like what I’m doing.”

I had a convo with guy #2 and he tells me that there are more options for him to find women with good head on their shoulders, educated, pretty, good credit, no kids, and drama-free than us women have to find men at his caliber. He told me because there is limited commodity of men like him that women are accessible for him.

***Okay ladies, I know how you feel because I felt the same way. I told him so much of MY thoughts/perspective/opinion on what he had to say but we will not go there for now because it takes away from my point of the story.

END OF PART 1 – Stay tuned for PART 2!!!

Hesitation

Hesitating:

I am sitting here and a guy that I do really care about has been telling me that he truly loves me. I sit here for the past 4 years telling him “hahaha”, “please get that fuck outta here”, “maybe you should love someone else”, “do this and do that”, “you do NOT really love me because you are TRIPPIN”, etc…. I have always told this person among others that: I am not the marrying type, I do not want to get married, marriage is BS, I am not a KID person, etc. However, do not get it twisted, this dude has NOT been my boyfriend for the past 4 years, but has been someone who has cared about me. I have TRIPPED out on him sooooo many times, like other men in my life. But, I started to think about my past. For some reason, it is hard for ME to believe that a guy can put up with ALL your BS, truly care about you, and say you know what I will put up with all her BS…step up to the plate, love her AND will never/ever CHEAT on her. Do I push men away because I am skeptical that love TRULY exists and can happen to me? Probably. What has brought me to this point among other women?! Jaded?! YEA!!! I need to sit down and do some soul searching. When it’s starring at us right in our face…..why do we make every excuse and do not seem ready…even when you should be/feel it/or are ready?......Bottom line: Why do we not feel we are ready for it? Ugh…what a self-searching thought and can be disturbing!