Words of Advice

This past Sunday me and my homegirl went to a neighboring casino to watch the Ravens/Patriots game and I was wearing white Jordans/Knicks sweatshirt/Knicks hat. This 60 year old, light skin, Black man was sitting by me and he started talking to me randomly. He stated, “your tall and I’m scared of you.” LOL Then he proceeds to say, “Your dominant…I bet you control your man.” LOL I say no, “I’m a nice girl.”  He says in a nutshell, “No, your friend is nice…your tough and controlling..I bet with you it has to be your way all the time and if not then you get an attitude..why are you so angry? Let me tell you to give that man a break and not be so angry, I guarantee he will love you more for it.” Then he walks off. I was in total shock because I’m like this random guy does not even know me but was on point about it all. I took it as a sign!!! I need to be a lot calmer and nicer, especially to the man I love, not everything has to be a fight. 

Truth time, reflection time, real time

As I sit here I am facing my real harsh reality that maybe I am not always the GRAND person everyone perceives me to be. I have opposite demeanor traits that I am hurtful and shameful about. I feel broken but strong, I feel smart but feel stupid, I feel rich but poor, because I feel the natural dichotomy of life. As I shed tears of pride, hurt, love, heart broken-ness, success, and failure I have to remind myself that I am human. True reflection reveals every vulnerable position that I have ever been placed in and every flaw that I have ever endured within my past, current, and possible future road that I have to or will take. That in itself is scary. How do I encompass my revered flaws to overcome my individual life obstacles? Ironically the song “Bruised but not broken” by Joss Stone is playing over the air and that resonates some message. I am feeling that every person can make room for change and improvement in some facet of their daily lives, including me. I take personal blame on every capacity of my situations, because many of those situations resulted in my personal decisions. For I am human and with that comes truth, responsibility, and challenges that will ultimately result in courage and wisdom. This includes a ripple effect of an holistic paradigm that ultimately effects our personal lives, careers, friendships, family, and romantic relationships. Life can be hard so are we prepared to endure it with respect, compassion, passion, and love? These are lessons!

Throwback Intro

As I was starring at my eyebrows looking for those pesky little hairs to tweeze I started to take a deep look at myself. It’s a well known fact that I am a woman. But, there’s much more to me than that, which I’m sure every female is aware of their personal uniqueness: good or bad. I resume back to what makes me the “core” of my inner-self. I am a Navajo woman. For centuries, the Navajo people, especially the women have displayed the true essence of strength and resiliency. We survived the “Long Walk” in 1864 in which the US government made thousands of Navajo people walk 300 miles to Fort Sumner in New Mexico. We were forced to leave our homeland and to leave the protection of the Four Sacred Mountains. We were forced to live in starvation, to live in diseased living conditions, and to live inhumanely. We survived as a Nation and eventually returned back to our original homeland. As Native people we survived genocide, cultural assimilation and relocation that have occurred since 1492. Although we still face tremendous disparities in every facet imaginable, our spirit is not broken. I am proud to say that our tribal people overcame many obstacles and we still remain culturally and spiritually connected to our heritage. With that being said, through my dating experiences, there are often reoccurring statements I hear, such as: “Native women are mean”, “Native women are stubborn”, “Native women are hard to date”, “Navajo women are the meanest”, or “Crystal, why are you so aggressive?”, “Crystal, you are not the easiest person to date”. My list of phrases can go on and on, but I assume you get the point. Now, referencing back to what makes us “Native”, we have incorporated all the strength and resilience our ancestors had to endure because it runs through our blood. Most Native American tribes are matriarchal. We trace our lineage through our mother and we hold honored places in our tribes. We have no choice but to be strong; to be strong for ourselves, our families, and for future generations. It’s safe to say I find it annoying when men say things like that. I find that they are intimidated by our strength because their weaknesses are highlighted and we let them know what their weaknesses are. We let them know, not because were “mean”, but because we deserve the best and we expect our men to step up to the plate. We may not communicate it the best sometimes, but being blunt about things is in our nature. Ladies, what do you think? I will be back soon to talk about many more topics about us and dating/relationships.



P.S. I wrote this blog a long time ago but they started a new system on this blog and therefore all my previous blogs were erased