Native male stereotypes

I was told by a friend NOT to date Native men. I asked her “Why?” She stated this: “Insecurities! Cycles of domestic violence and alcoholism! Geez need I say more... Haha! Mamas boys in a negative fashion! Liars and cheaters! Not all but some! Most native men have created this reputation for themselves but there is that few that live a great life and will treat u good....”

 I have seen my fair share of some of these stereotypes, especially alcoholism and domestic violence. Statistically speaking, Native women suffer the most from intimate partner violence out of any other women in the U.S. There is a town near the Navajo reservation called Gallup, NM and that town has the highest rate of alcoholism per capita in the U.S. Therefore, statistically speaking these numbers may have proved that some of these stereotypes are true. But, I also have known Native men who do not drink or abuse their women. But how many are alcoholics and contribute to high rates of intimate partner violence versus those who do not? Or, how about those men who drink, not essentially a lot, but cannot handle their alcohol and start acting a fool? They want to fight everyone and alcohol does not fit well with them…I have seen lots Native men like that!! That is a turn-off.

 But, I feel that I am not one to speak on this because I have not seriously dated Native men in my adult years. But, I have lots Native male relatives and friends and I would say, from what I personally know, most of them are not alcoholics or abuse their women. Although, I do know of some who are and some who have.

 However, I do know a lot of Native men who do cheat and lie! I live in Las Vegas and see many of whom are in relationships that come here and straight up lie and cheat, especially during large Native events (i.e. Indian National Finals Rodeo, National Finals Rodeo, RES Conference). However, do you feel most men have cheated or lied, regardless of race/ethnicity? I have experienced and heard of many cheating episodes in my lifetime that involve Native men.

 Maybe that is why I sub consciously chose to fray away from dating Native men for a while. In addition to that, I could not find one that I was heavily attracted to. I have been thinking about this a lot because I had a conversation with my mom and she said, “I got scared. There is someone we know who’s daughter is half Navajo/half Black and she married a Black man. So their child will only be ¼ Navajo. What if you marry someone of a different race? My grandchild will be ½ Navajo, then they marry a non-Native, then my great grandchild will only be ¼ Navajo, and so on. And that really scared me. “ I agreed with her and I said “It scares me too.” I think maybe that’s why I haven’t had children yet, because I think about things like this all the time. Do I go back to dating Native men because there are important traits, such as blood quantum, culture, etc..that I need to keep intact? Do I put some of the stereotypical concerns aside? It can be confusing, stressful, and concerning. I don’t want to be with a Native man that has so much stereotypical baggage, plus I want him to be tall, good looking, traditional, hard-worker, educated, fit into all parts of my world(s), and doesn’t have lots of kids. That kind of sounds like a unicorn. I think I’m just somehow right now.