Let's Talk About Sex!

Talking about sex is taboo in our community. Nobody talks about it! Let me first start off saying that WE need to talk about it; what are relationships, what is the relationship to sex, what is the act of sex, consequences, and what sex means to you? I mean sex is such a broad term. I know because I taught a class at UNLV titled “Sexuality for Education”. We of course talked about the biological aspects of sex, menstruation, sexual orientation, sexual positions, sex toys, pornography, sexual transmitted infections, masturbation, contraception, and social implications about sex. We covered it all! Sex is an important aspect of romantic relationships (in my opinion anyway). First and foremost, what is your personal relationship with sex? I mean how do YOU view sex? Is it an act, a responsibility, needed, looked down upon, shameful, has boundaries/no boundaries, celebrated, respected? Why are your views in such ways? Is it because of your experiences or lack of experiences? Were your experiences healthy? Unhealthy? I know a LOT of people, women, in particular from our communities have experienced sexual abuse (rape, molestation). And yet, we DO NOT talk about it. As for me, I think it is a very important topic to discuss because if we don’t, then who will? How do we learn and teach and express ourselves about it? Because sex can have extremely healthy consequences to extremely unhealthy consequences. Sex is part of our life forever. As a “sexual health” professional, I like to tell my non-Native colleagues about a ceremony us Navajo people have for our young women when they get their first menstruation, which is called a “Kinaldaa’” or “Puberty Ceremony”. We celebrate and honor this sacred becoming of a young woman. The Navajo medicine man and his supporters sing and pray for her for four days so that she lives a beautiful life. On the last day of this four-day ceremony all the women (elders, aunts, sisters, nieces, youth) go into the Hogan (an octagon structure where ceremonies take place) and talk to this young woman. They talk to her about “becoming” a woman, respecting yourself, how to conduct yourself as a Navajo woman throughout your life, and other teachings. All the youth in there also listen. She takes these teachings with her throughout her life. This ceremony is absolutely beautiful and unique in comparison to mainstream society!!! Also, when I talk to my nieces and little sister I tell them about what “sex” is. I mean I literally explain to them what oral, anal, vaginal, and vagina-to-vagina sex is because I want them to know! There are at an impressionable age and their peers are feeding them false information. As talking about relationships, not only romantic relationships, but relationships to our children, nieces, nephews, sisters, brothers, friends, etc…how do we talk about sex? It affects every aspect of our lives and yet our community DOES not address it as much as we should. Sex is natural. Sex is healthy. It is a part of life and it breeds life. I talk about sex openly with my friends, romantic partners, and family (which includes the young ones). I am not ashamed to talk about it. . I encourage my Native communities to engage in more dialogue about it with your friends, romantic partners, kids, and family. I will touch on limitless topics about sex from here moving forward, just a forewarning! I at least wanted to open up the dialogue or thoughts about it first so any of you won't have a heart attack (ayyye).