I went grocery shopping and I observed couples shopping together
and I saw singles shopping alone (I assume they were based on their choice of
groceries, especially men, they always buy the frozen pizza/foods). I walked
out into the chilly air pushing my grocery cart and I felt a sense of
overwhelming loneliness. Not lonely for my family but lonely to be with a
significant other. I had to check myself.
Two weeks ago my sister asked me if I wanted to go to the club.
Mind you, I had been out the previous weekend all weekend with other friends
from out of town. I thought, ugh, I been out way too much this past week. But,
I went anyway. I went because I thought there will be a time when I won’t
possess this sense of unwavering freedom. I imagine I will be in a committed
relationship or married or with a kid at some sooner than later in my life.
That means I have to eventually put those relationships first. That means I
have to possibly wake up at 3 am to feed my child. That means I have to check
with my husband/family first before I decided to go dancing in the middle of
the night with my girls. That means my life will revolve around my family and
not me anymore.
When I went dancing two weeks ago I decided to embrace my super
single-ness by not apologizing for being out with my friends on a week night.
This evening I reflected on my loneliness and I decided to embrace it. I
decided I should because I can do whatever I want whenever I want at this point
in my life and not have to explain myself to anyone but myself. Not too many
people have that freedom in their lives, and that’s a great thing, but I do and
that’s also a great thing. SO, ladies if you’re feeling the loneliness crawling
out in your thoughts, then remember you’re also lucky to enjoy your life the
way you want to. You’re able to spend your money on you. You’re able to spend
your time the way you want to. You are able to enjoy your own company. You’re
able to be as selfish as you want and not feel guilty for it. You’re able to
work on yourself and concentrate on your personal, professional, and academic
goals as much as you want. You’re able to meet a friend at midnight at a bar
and have glasses of wine. You’re able to travel at the drop of a dime. Embrace
this ladies because you may be married with a kid soon and not have this luxury
you once thought was so negative. Cheers dolls! Stay beautiful.
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