Sloppy Seconds

I met a guy around the time I first moved here to Vegas. He originally lived in the east coast but would come to Vegas for work frequently for months at a time. He was tall, dark, handsome, polite, educated, well-dress/groomed, and had a very good job. We would go out on dates and hang-out. He wanted more but I just wasn’t ready but I enjoyed his company nonetheless. But, every time he came back to Vegas for work, we would always meet up and kick it. He told me he was divorced and had a daughter. At one point I thought I should give this dude a real chance.

 

THEN, I got a phone call and it was this dudes WIFE. Like, he was full-on married! However, even if the case were if a man was separated, going through a divorce, etc..he was still MARRIED at the end of the day. I talked to his wife, didn’t rat him out, but assured nothing was going on between us because although we kicked it, nothing serious was happening.  I immediately texted the dude and told him he was the scum of the earth, he’s a liar, I feel bad for his wife, and to never-ever..ever-ever-ever contact me again because he disgusted me!!!! He left me alone for about 3 months and then he texted me again saying I was the most amazing woman he ever met and he still wanted to be a part of my life. I looked at my phone and thought “BYE FELCIA.” I never responded.

 

I don’t know if it’s just me or I presume to be judgmental but why would I want another woman’s man?! Ewww. I’d rather be single. I don’t want to be your “sloppy seconds.”  Also, I have been cheated on before and that sucks. I wouldn’t want to partake in any type of situation where someone may get hurt because it happened to me before. I understood that prior to me knowing he was married was not my fault because I had no idea. But, after that phone call, after me finding out he was married, it become my responsibility to walk away, because he obviously wasn’t responsible/respectful enough to make that decision. But I was.

 

I don’t understand women who WANT to date/talk to/mess around with men who are in a relationship (married or not) when they know he is. Don’t worry ladies, I am not forgetting about who the REAL asshole is in this situation, it definitely is the man in the relationship, and I didn’t forget that. But, as females aren’t’ we enabling him to treat other women like this if we know he’s in a relationship but still continue to date/talk/mess around with? Where is our self-esteem to know we can find a man who is not taken? Where is our self-confidence to know we deserve better? Where is our self-respect as Native women, to know this is wrong? Where is our dignity? I mean are we sometimes that desperate to need attention that bad that we feel we can ‘borrow’ it for the time being?

 

Not to mention, if he leaves her to be with you, would you trust him? Because if he cheated on his ex with you, who’s to say he wouldn’t cheat on you with another girl? The relationship already started off with bad energy, lies, deceit, and disrespect.