Unofficially Officially Dating

So I have been on a male hiatus sort of speak during these past few months due to a relationship break-up. I needed time to do “me” and I still do. HOWEVER, when I say I am “officially unofficially dating” I meant I am OPEN to dating again!!!!!! And I have been on some dates so that is what I mean I am “officially-unofficially” dating again. I needed to find happiness within me, comfort in my own self, and strength again, because believe me I felt WEAK time and time again. For instance, I have gained weight and that made me feel self-conscious and inadequate. Can some of you relate? Mind you, I have ALWAYS been in shape but over the past few of years I have gained weight. And because of that I somewhat felt BLAH. It did not help that my previous relationship partner(s) told me that I was somewhat unattractive due to my weight gain. I did not necessarily feel ugly but I felt somehow (ayyye). Ok seriously, I felt NOT me because I have been “fit” and not “thick”. So I gained some weight, yes, it happens, and I felt maybe the men I was used to dating would not like me anymore. Or men in general sort of speak. My family members also told me “you gained weight” too. I felt BLAH. BUT yes I did. They were not lying because I did gain weight! So maybe that is ONE reason why I stayed in a relationship I did not belong in anymore due that that aspect. I somehow someway felt self-conscious. I mean I did not feel unattractive and have always been self-confident upfront but in hindsight there was a small part of me that felt inadequate. Moving forward, I know what my goals are physically, mentally, spiritually, and professionally, so I am moving forward with them. I have been working out like crazy now to address my physical insecurities. However, due to my insecurities (we All have them!), I have to think back to my self-worth. I am self-worthy. Wow self-epiphany occurs. For instance, I met a male officially for the first time, and he is a medical doctor/masters of public health student and is extremely educated who recently told me: I have seen you in the library for two years straight and I have always had a crush on you!!! Ok you guys mind you ,when I go in to the library I wear sneakers, sandals, sweatpants, basketball shorts, t-shirts, sweatshirts, no make-up, hair up in a bun like 99% of the time because I am in the library for relentless hours only to work! This nice doctor, tells me he likes me recently…wow how flattering!!!! Plus he is sooo extremely nice! And I have been on a few dates with him because he knows how to treat a woman. Also, I left a dinner place tonight and this 6”3” model male approaches me and tells me he likes my style and gives me his number (mine you girls he is gorgeous!) and lives in NYC and gives me his number. We engage in about a 15 minute conversation and it’s cool. But just the fact that these males are approaching me is amazing because I told y’all I lost my self somehow. I felt unattractive because I gained weight and so forth on a physical standpoint, however, on humble standpoint all these men coming out of the woodwork is flattering! I admit I am enjoying it, Nothing more, Nothing less. I am living in the moment.