Post Break-Ups

We have all been there, break-up status. I do not wish the worst break-ups on my worst enemy. At this point in my life I am questioning whether I am getting great at them or was I not really “in love” when compared to my previous relationships, because I am “ok”. For instance, in a previous 10-year relationship, my ex used to cheat on me a lot. In between the cheatings, I hurt a lot. However, I always accepted him back because it made me feel better but then he would do it again and hurt me all over again. After years of this, I decided it was finally time to leave. Yes, when we finally had the “for real” break-up. I was heart-broken but not as heart-broken as the times when I found out he was cheating on me. It did take me a long time to get over the relationship but I was not as bad as I was when we were in the temporary “break-up” phases. Those times in the temporary “break-ups” were the worst for me because I could not eat, sleep, wonder what he was doing, think about him 24/7, I could not be alone…I was just hopeless! My second break-up was similar but we were only together for 2 years but we lived together and shared all expenses. I thought I was going to marry this man and I was “in love” with him. Then I found evidence of cheating so we broke-up very suddenly and unexpectedly. I found myself in a gut-wrenching, heart broken, post break-up phase! I could not eat (lost 15-20 pounds), could not sleep, I bothered my friends constantly. I even was on the verge of dropping out of graduate school but my mom would not let that happen because she checked me (lol). In comparison to those break-ups, I am actually doing extremely great on my most recent break-up (3 months ago). I mean of course I was hurt, had unanswered questions, felt lonely at times, and missed him but those are all normal feelings. I still loved him. However, I wonder if it I wasn’t going through it was bad because it didn’t end unexpectedly and that the build-up to ending our relationship was inevitable due to our constant arguing? Or is it because I am better able to cope with break-ups? Or is it because I wasn’t “in love” with him like I thought I was? Well, at this point I can’t truly decipher the reason why this break-up seemed different on those aspects but I am grateful that I did not react in an extremely depressed, confused, and lonely state because that is the WORST! For those of you who may be going through something let me say you WILL get through your hardships of the “break-up”. Keep your head up sister and keep smiling/keep loving/keep living!