Background, Credit, and STD check!

To date nowadays I feel I need to have the suitor take a background, credit, and STD check (lol). Some people may be offended, but hey, I feel it’s the way of the world. I have dated men with poor credit and have a criminal background, which I’m not knockin’ but I’m tired of it. I told my homeboy one time over the phone that any male I date needs to have a credit score of 700+ (lol)! Not because I am a gold-digger but a good credit score tells me a lot about a person. It tells me you are financially responsible and probably more financially stable. It means I do not have to co-sign for anything all the time as well if we were ever to get serious. It means if I decide to marry you then my credit score will NOT go down. It means WE can buy that house or car or whatever we want without having to worry about if we will get denied or who’s name will it go under. I mean this is real shit going on here. So many issues within relationships entail finances. Believe me, I know, because financial issues always played a part in most of my past relationships and I always got frustrated. So now, I decided to date men that may be financially compatible with my means although I am still a broke Ph.D student (lol). But, that’s all relative now. I’m broke now so I can be not broke later, well that’s the plan at least. In terms of a criminal background, well, that kind of goes hand-in-hand with responsibility and financial responsibility. I’ve dated men with criminal history and it made it much more difficult for them to find a job. No job equals poor credit. Also, because I work in the field of public health and directly with HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted infections, and teen pregnancy prevention I am aware of the statistics, therefore and everyone should have their partner checked to be on the safe side.

This past week I ran into an acquaintance I see at a local bar I frequent. This guy is kind of annoying but I still chop it up with him anyways. Into our conversation I tell him that moving forward every man I date needs to have a background, credit, and STD check (but half way joking).  Then he asks me if I was dating anyone and I told him “yeah, I’m talking to this doctor guy who has no kids and good credit.” This guy says, “Your not the only one he’s dating”. After that he went in on me and told me he does not like my hair dark because I looked ‘gloomy’ and I looked better with blonde hair among other things that were plain rude. I guess I offended him with my comment that I made and he probably got mad because he was trying to holla at me and with that one sentence he knew I would never go there with him lol! But as a Native girl, sometimes I feel we sell ourselves short in terms that we lower our standards due to self-doubt that transcends into every part of our lives. I mean some of us do not demand more. Demand more of ourselves and of our partners or future partners.