Who pays during the dates?

This day in age of dating could be daunting and ambiguous. There are multiple social media and dating websites to meet potential love interests. There is also the old-fashion way to meet people, in-person. There are more women who are self-sufficient and empowered…we had Hillary Clinton run for president this election season. Our gender dynamics are ever changing and evolving for better or worse depending on who you are and your philosophical worldviews and practices.

Is it protocol you go Dutch the first time you meet a person online? Are women considered gold-diggers if they want the men to pay for everything all the time during the first few dates? Do women prefer the pay half or their own tab because they do not want to feel “obligated” to give up anything to that man later in that date or in their dating timeframe? Do men still feel that since they pay, that women “should” give them something in return in the beginning? Are women feeling more empowered and demonstrate that empowerment by paying for their date? Are women paying for dates for the simple fact that they do not want to be labeled as a gold-digger? Are there still old-school gentleman out there that wants to and will pay for dates? How long is the time between going on your first few dates to dating that a female should feel comfortable to pay? These are all valid and interesting questions if you are in the dating game.

In December of 2016, I met a guy from the east coast while I was there. He asked me to lunch, we went, he paid. Simple. There was no hesitation or awkwardness when the tab arrived of “who is going to pay?” He quickly grabbed the bill and that was that.

Recently, I was hanging out with a friend of mine. She wanted me to tag along on her hanging out with a guy she met through mutual friends online. She had never met this fella in-person. I tagged along to dinner and asked for a separate check for myself. According to my friend, when their bill arrived, her male friend did not get the check quick enough and there was that awkward moment of “who is going to pay?” She then grabbed the check and put her credit card down. Their bill was ~$65 and the male friend gave her $45 cash. The next day he wanted to take her out on a date and I somehow ended up tagging along again. He asked her to purchase the tickets online. She did. He never paid her back. However, he bought popcorn and drinks. Interesting I thought as an outside person examining the awkwardness of money. I thought since he wanted to hangout with her that he should have paid for the tickets. 

In my dating experiences I do not usually have that “paying” awkwardness. However, I am not saying that it has not happened, it has, but it is not the norm for me. It is interesting to observe the financial dynamics between men and women between the first few dates-relationships-marriage. I must admit that I get turned off if a man expects me to pay or puts me in a position to pay by "awkwardness" in the beginning of our dating phase. Personally, I prefer the old-school gentleman who pays during our courting phase. I prefer to be courted. After the first few dates then I will want to start to pay now and then. –Love, Peace, and Frybread Grease