Friday, December 5, 2014

Lingering Break-Ups and Moving On


Have you ever been in a relationship that your heart was not ready to let go? However, logically speaking your mind knew that the relationship was not uplifting you in any capacity but rather debilitating? You know you should let go and move on, you know it! But, somewhere you’re still holding on emotionally and mentally, maybe even physically. I just had an epiphany yesterday that this is me. I’m still trying to get over a relationship and I believe I hid my feelings under a rug or keep trying to bury it in a shallow space that keeps re-surfacing. I go in roller coaster cycles, sometimes I’m doing great and sometimes I realize I’m in a funk. But what’s keeping me in this space? I forget not to be so hard on myself sometimes because I guess this is part of the healing process. I have to believe that time will heal all my lingering emotions and wounds. I have to believe that one day all this will leave my inner space and because I’ve been through break-ups before, I know it will. I came across a piece that stated it best about relationships ending and it’s beautiful so please read below:

 

“The last words we speak to a loved one can color a whole relationship, leaving a sour taste in ones mouth where there could have been only love... even when we close a relationship, if we can close it with love, we can acknowledge the gifts we received, the experience we gained, allowing for the healing process to begin and quicker resolution for all involved...

 

 In the accelerated consciousness so many of us move quickly through relationships, so its important for us to understand the nature of closure from a spiritual perspective. As the lessons are learned and the karma cleared, many Souls choose to part company and move on to another chapter. This has nothing to do with failure, or with one person or the other being the bad guy, even if the universe may choose to assist us in moving forward by creating some drama or event. The event is often just a cue that the time has come to pack ones bags and move onto a new level of learning, alone or with another Soul.

 

 Relationships end for all sorts of reasons but often they end because we have been successful in learning what our two Souls came together to learn. Closing relationships with love, with honor for all that was gained, is therefore a wonderful way to acknowledge the gift of the completed relationship at the Soul level. It allows us karmic completion, the gift of an open heart and the readiness for what lies ahead. As we respect each other Soul to Soul, as we see each other from the Soul level, we can acknowledge the blessings, and move on.

 

 This does not mean that there are not tears or grieving. At a very human level, we grieve the companions that we leave behind on the road. Every time there is a separation, at a very human level there is grief, because on this plane, we long for the eternal closeness that we have as Souls. Because at the Soul level, nothing ever ends and our love is eternal and something in us feels cheated by the temporary separation of the earthly realms, as we are called to sever ties and move on.

 

 And then there is the tender inner child. Inner children do not understand the need to move on. They bond and want to keep the bond. And if our inner children have suffered the pain of separation from their parents, and carry abandonment wounds or rejection/neglect wounds from childhood, these separations can become very painful indeed. It is at these times that we are called to do deep inner work. It is at these times that we have the opportunity and the need to reach for the wounds within and heal all that is hurting inside. So that we may finally heal the old and close old chapters of hurt for good.

 

 Ironically this may be the very gift endings, even the bad ones. As every unhealed wound we carry inside is a blockage to the love that we can feel, can express and can give in our completeness. Every wound that we carry is a barrier to the expansion of the heart chakra into all that it can be. So a broken heart can indeed break us open, if we refuse to wall up, but dare instead to embrace the intensity of the pain. If we dare to not defend our heart, but rather open it so we may feel all of it, the old and the new pain, and cry until we are cleansed to the core.

 

 And sometimes endings are not really endings, but pauses, during which we part for a while to learn more about ourselves, carry out more of our mission, develop individually what we can’t develop together. At other times endings wind down slowly, usually when the lesson is not quite complete and some karma still remains to be cleared. At other times yet, the ending has occurred, but still much processing happens, months after the fact, as we integrate all that was learned or meditate on what went wrong. In the latter case, what we are doing is healing and taking stock. Something inside really got stirred up by the experience with this other and some time is needed to make sense of it all and patch up all the pieces torn asunder, so we may get clearer about who we are, what we need, and evolve into a different stage of life, often by pointing the arrow of our intention in a new direction.

 

 Relationships for many is how we evolve. We bond, we love, we exchange reflections with another, we discover about ourselves. In the initial phases of life, relationships are almost always exercises in inner child healing and karma balancing. But as we evolve, they become the pathway through which we get to see and reclaim parts of our Soul. And if it is in our contact to be with another so called Soul mate, we eventually get to travel in balance for a while, deepening the extent to which we can love. Opening further and further, daring to get more and more vulnerable, so that the light of the divine can shine through our transparent hearts in a sacred union with another.

 

 But even in this instance, sometimes the chapters of love are more than one. Just because we had a soul mate and completed with that Soul, this does not mean that we will not have another and experience Soul Love again. As in truth at the Soul level, we are all one, all a reflection of another. There are so many ways in which we can experience Soul level love. So many Souls with which to create infinite symphonies of love and with whom to bond.So many variation of expression as no two Souls are the same and the blending potential is infinite in its promise. Know that there is never a separation between Souls that does not happen by Soul agreement. If your relationship has completed, allow for the grieving to occur, but do not mistrust the rightness of what is occurring and do not feel that doors are closing in unfair ways. If the door has closed, it’s for the highest good that it has. And a new door will open when enough healing has occurred for it to be the right time.

 

 If you are grieving the departure of a loved one, ask for the love of the divine and cosmic realms to come and patch up your heart and inner child so you may expand and eventually love more. If you are angry about the unfairness or betrayal of another, ask for healing and work towards accepting what is and moving on. How others treat you is their karma, but how we react is ours. Strive to find peace and acceptance and eventually forgiveness for what has occurred. Remember that even when communication breaks down, it is always possible to heal relationships at the Soul level, by talking Soul to Soul. Intend for the healing to occur and it will. Aim towards harboring no resentment, after the initial natural anger has passed.

 

 But most of all treat yourself gently during this phase. Give yourself the love the Earth plane is temporarily denying you and treat yourself with tenderness and compassion. Take whatever time you need to grieve and heal. As you up yourself love and hug your inner child in this way, your love attracting potential will increase, bringing to you someone that loves you just as you are, with all your vulnerabilities, just as you now love yourself. It is something to look forward to indeed.

 

 May you be cleansed, healed and transformed by your endings. May your heart grow larger and more beautiful.  May your Soul grow wiser and more forgiving. May your self love and self acceptance grow supreme. And may you soon be ready to love again, with even more wisdom and passion, knowing that shedding people and skins is a very natural consequence of a fast evolving path.

 

 May you thrive in beauty.

 

 Namaste.”

 

(http://cosmicperspectives.blogspot.com/2010/07/soul-relationships-endings.html)

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