Have you ever been in a
relationship that your heart was not ready to let go? However, logically
speaking your mind knew that the relationship was not uplifting you in any
capacity but rather debilitating? You know you should let go and move on, you
know it! But, somewhere you’re still holding on emotionally and mentally, maybe
even physically. I just had an epiphany yesterday that this is me. I’m still
trying to get over a relationship and I believe I hid my feelings under a rug
or keep trying to bury it in a shallow space that keeps re-surfacing. I go in
roller coaster cycles, sometimes I’m doing great and sometimes I realize I’m in
a funk. But what’s keeping me in this space? I forget not to be so hard on
myself sometimes because I guess this is part of the healing process. I have to
believe that time will heal all my lingering emotions and wounds. I have to
believe that one day all this will leave my inner space and because I’ve been
through break-ups before, I know it will. I came across a piece that stated it
best about relationships ending and it’s beautiful so please read below:
“The last words we speak to a loved one can color a whole relationship,
leaving a sour taste in ones mouth where there could have been only love...
even when we close a relationship, if we can close it with love, we can
acknowledge the gifts we received, the experience we gained, allowing for the
healing process to begin and quicker resolution for all involved...
In the accelerated consciousness
so many of us move quickly through relationships, so its important for us to
understand the nature of closure from a spiritual perspective. As the lessons
are learned and the karma cleared, many Souls choose to part company and move
on to another chapter. This has nothing to do with failure, or with one person
or the other being the bad guy, even if the universe may choose to assist us in
moving forward by creating some drama or event. The event is often just a cue
that the time has come to pack ones bags and move onto a new level of learning,
alone or with another Soul.
Relationships end for all sorts
of reasons but often they end because we have been successful in learning what
our two Souls came together to learn. Closing relationships with love, with
honor for all that was gained, is therefore a wonderful way to acknowledge the gift
of the completed relationship at the Soul level. It allows us karmic
completion, the gift of an open heart and the readiness for what lies ahead. As
we respect each other Soul to Soul, as we see each other from the Soul level,
we can acknowledge the blessings, and move on.
This does not mean that there
are not tears or grieving. At a very human level, we grieve the companions that
we leave behind on the road. Every time there is a separation, at a very human
level there is grief, because on this plane, we long for the eternal closeness
that we have as Souls. Because at the Soul level, nothing ever ends and our
love is eternal and something in us feels cheated by the temporary separation
of the earthly realms, as we are called to sever ties and move on.
And then there is the tender
inner child. Inner children do not understand the need to move on. They bond
and want to keep the bond. And if our inner children have suffered the pain of
separation from their parents, and carry abandonment wounds or rejection/neglect
wounds from childhood, these separations can become very painful indeed. It is
at these times that we are called to do deep inner work. It is at these times
that we have the opportunity and the need to reach for the wounds within and
heal all that is hurting inside. So that we may finally heal the old and close
old chapters of hurt for good.
Ironically this may be the very
gift endings, even the bad ones. As every unhealed wound we carry inside is a
blockage to the love that we can feel, can express and can give in our
completeness. Every wound that we carry is a barrier to the expansion of the
heart chakra into all that it can be. So a broken heart can indeed break us
open, if we refuse to wall up, but dare instead to embrace the intensity of the
pain. If we dare to not defend our heart, but rather open it so we may feel all
of it, the old and the new pain, and cry until we are cleansed to the core.
And sometimes endings are not
really endings, but pauses, during which we part for a while to learn more
about ourselves, carry out more of our mission, develop individually what we
can’t develop together. At other times endings wind down slowly, usually when
the lesson is not quite complete and some karma still remains to be cleared. At
other times yet, the ending has occurred, but still much processing happens,
months after the fact, as we integrate all that was learned or meditate on what
went wrong. In the latter case, what we are doing is healing and taking stock.
Something inside really got stirred up by the experience with this other and
some time is needed to make sense of it all and patch up all the pieces torn
asunder, so we may get clearer about who we are, what we need, and evolve into
a different stage of life, often by pointing the arrow of our intention in a
new direction.
Relationships for many is how we
evolve. We bond, we love, we exchange reflections with another, we discover
about ourselves. In the initial phases of life, relationships are almost always
exercises in inner child healing and karma balancing. But as we evolve, they
become the pathway through which we get to see and reclaim parts of our Soul.
And if it is in our contact to be with another so called Soul mate, we
eventually get to travel in balance for a while, deepening the extent to which
we can love. Opening further and further, daring to get more and more
vulnerable, so that the light of the divine can shine through our transparent
hearts in a sacred union with another.
But even in this instance,
sometimes the chapters of love are more than one. Just because we had a soul
mate and completed with that Soul, this does not mean that we will not have
another and experience Soul Love again. As in truth at the Soul level, we are
all one, all a reflection of another. There are so many ways in which we can
experience Soul level love. So many Souls with which to create infinite
symphonies of love and with whom to bond.So many variation of expression as no
two Souls are the same and the blending potential is infinite in its promise.
Know that there is never a separation between Souls that does not happen by
Soul agreement. If your relationship has completed, allow for the grieving to
occur, but do not mistrust the rightness of what is occurring and do not feel
that doors are closing in unfair ways. If the door has closed, it’s for the
highest good that it has. And a new door will open when enough healing has
occurred for it to be the right time.
If you are grieving the
departure of a loved one, ask for the love of the divine and cosmic realms to
come and patch up your heart and inner child so you may expand and eventually
love more. If you are angry about the unfairness or betrayal of another, ask
for healing and work towards accepting what is and moving on. How others treat
you is their karma, but how we react is ours. Strive to find peace and
acceptance and eventually forgiveness for what has occurred. Remember that even
when communication breaks down, it is always possible to heal relationships at
the Soul level, by talking Soul to Soul. Intend for the healing to occur and it
will. Aim towards harboring no resentment, after the initial natural anger has
passed.
But most of all treat yourself
gently during this phase. Give yourself the love the Earth plane is temporarily
denying you and treat yourself with tenderness and compassion. Take whatever
time you need to grieve and heal. As you up yourself love and hug your inner
child in this way, your love attracting potential will increase, bringing to
you someone that loves you just as you are, with all your vulnerabilities, just
as you now love yourself. It is something to look forward to indeed.
May you be cleansed, healed and
transformed by your endings. May your heart grow larger and more beautiful. May your Soul grow wiser and more forgiving.
May your self love and self acceptance grow supreme. And may you soon be ready
to love again, with even more wisdom and passion, knowing that shedding people
and skins is a very natural consequence of a fast evolving path.
May you thrive in beauty.
Namaste.”
(http://cosmicperspectives.blogspot.com/2010/07/soul-relationships-endings.html)
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