Right to be HAPPY!

For me, I put up with a lot of unnecessary bullshit from men. At times I did it because I was young, stupid, and naïve. Other times, I did it because I felt like I did not deserve better because I was insecure about myself. Mind you, these words are powerful so let me repeat this, I FELT LIKE I DID NOT DESERVE “happiness.” At times, I did it because I put my happiness in my man’s hands hoping HE would change. That did not work because I cannot control someone else’s actions but I can only control MINE. So I had to take that control back and gear it towards MY happiness. Other times, it was simple enough that I loved him and that was it. But I had to realize that LOVE is termed loosely if it does not include respect and security. So, I had an epiphany: I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! I have an inherent right and human right to be happy. I control that destiny but as women I feel we fail to acknowledge and allow ourselves to practice that basic human right, to be HAPPY! So simple but yet can be the most complex emotion to achieve at times it seems. Especially, when it comes to love and relationships. As women, as Native women, we give a LOT of ourselves to our partner, families, and communities because we come from a strong cultural support system that encompasses; our families, clanship system families, and community. WE GIVE because that is part of our cultural teachings to constantly think about the greater good of our nuclear family, extended family, clanship families, and community. Therefore, it is in our blood and cultural teachings TO GIVE. It’s a great thing and I respect those that live in that mindset because I do too. However, like all women do, we give so much and do so much for others because that also makes us happy but we also forget about OURSELVES. When do we ever sit back and think this is WHAT I WANT, I NEED, I EXPECT? It seems as if were always the one sacrificing OUR needs, wants, and expectations to ensure the other is happy. I know a relationship is a give and take and I cannot constantly feel like it is all about ME but I feel I need to take a close look at my relationship to see if this is working. I DESERVE to be: HAPPY, SECURE, LOVED, SPOILED, RESPECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I don’t feel those things on a consistent basis then is this relationship really for ME? Because at the end of the day “I DESERVE”. And so do you girl!