Deal-breakers

Deal-breakers

I know all us girls, Native or not, do have a list when it comes to finding a mate. However, have we thought about deal-breakers? For example, I went to Washington DC recently and caught-up on life stories among my wonderful, vibrant, ambitious African-American (Black) girlfriends. One is a lawyer and lives/works in DC area and the other is working on her Ph.D in Public Health and is a part-time instructor at her respective university (same as me) in Texas. All 3 of us do not have kids and are not married. So, we started having our usual conversation about MEN, specifically about deal-breakers.

Friend 1 stated that her mother worked like 5 jobs to keep her family housed and fed, while her father did not contribute. Therefore, her stance was that she would not care or it would not be a deal-breaker if her “husband” cheated on her (as long as he wore protection) but was financially stable and did not let his extra curricular activities with other females interfere with the money he was bringing home to her. She said because her mother slaved to take care of her home.

Friend 2 stated her father was financially stable but cheated on her mom all the time. Her stance was that she was fine with a man who made way less than her as long as he worked everyday AND did not cheat on her.

I stated that my father was financially stable and was not the most faithful man on the planet as well. Also, domestic violence where I come from is an epidemic. Therefore, I stated that I would marry a man who made way less than me in terms of income but he does need to be employed. Also, I would not deal with him cheating and being abused in any capacity because of how I grew-up.
This made me realize that everybody grew-up very different and each of us have deal-breakers and I got confused all over again. What’s your deal-breaker?