As I am thinking about my personal relationships, I started to reflect on my discrepancies and how I contribute to conflict within my own relationships. Individuals often tend to blame the significant other when conflicts arise because we do not often consider our contribution to the “bad vibes.” Especially, us women! AND especially us Native women!! Maybe it’s due to culture, environment, societal norms, or instinct, but it seems as if it is always never our fault. I would like to ask a few questions to you all:
1. When your man has an issue with you, what does he tell you?
2. Does he complain about the same things you continually do (?), such as;
(nag, complain, argue, insecurities, jealous, stubborn, etc..)
3. With some of these complaints, do you think he has some valid points?
In my past to most recent relationships, I have heard some of the same complaints from my significant other in each relationship...so I now realize that I do exhibit a common, negative pattern. Now it’s time I turn the mirror to myself and analyze my negative traits that I inherently contribute to relationship conflicts and work on those! It is necessary to turn some of those traits around so our relationships can be turned around and move forward. It is nice to know that some of our strengths are also some of our weaknesses. I know that is true for me, so now I am trying to be more aware of knowing the time and place to utilize my strengths so they do not become my weakness.
I know us women like to sit around and talk about how our men do this and that…and how we get frustrated and annoyed, but we hardly talk about our negative habits as well. It is unfair. Now, I’m not saying that I condone what some men are doing and I know they are completely wrong at times. However, I am only stating that sometimes it is good to look at our personal habits within so we can be aware of our contributions to our relationship patterns: good or bad.
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