“Men & woman research their job, school or even their dog's breed more than they check out their dates. It stems from this romantic notion that falling in love is spoiled by being prudent and skeptical. Why should you know more about your favorite sports team than on your mate? Aren't the stakes higher?” –From a Follower who commented one of my previous blogs
I personally went through a horrendous dating situation. I met this guy and he was wonderful! So, I thought. He was tall, dark, handsome, charming, hard worker, sociable, and respectful. I seriously could have married this dude. I met him in Tucson and when I first met him I thought, “If I could get in a relationship with anyone, it would be with this dude.” So we exchanged numbers and became friends for a couple of years. We hung out a few times and it was cool, but he moved back to the east coast so we lost touch. After a couple of years he randomly called me! After that one call we were talking daily like 1 0 times a day. After a few months, we decided we would be together and he would move back to the southwest to be closer. The next two years of our relationship was amazing! I was for sure in love. Then, we moved to Las Vegas together and that’s when our relationship started tumbling downhill, FAST. We broke-up and I was heart-broken. A year after we broke-up I found out he was previously married and had 4 kids from that marriage (plus more stuff but let me tell you it was like WTH?)!!!!! Breaking up with him was a blessing in disguise, when at the time of being heart-broken I could not understand why?! This guy seriously lied to me! I was mad but after I found out I was relieved.
This just goes to show that you truly do not know people and their capabilities, especially the negative ones. The statement from above from the anonymous follower made a good point. We research things in our life that does not directly affect our physical, mental, and emotional health.
As a health professional, one of my patterns when I know I am entering a relationship is to make sure we both get STD tests and to make sure I see the results and/or go to the clinic together to get our results. I believe this is mandatory in today’s world. I do not understand why people feel so uncomfortable with these types of conversations when they are important and needed! We have to take ownership over our own health. STD’s run rampant in minority communities, especially tribal communities. I always felt comfortable doing this, but based on my experience do I now have to get a background check AND a credit check? Has it come that people are so dishonest that we have to research their lives ourselves? Or is that taking it too far? Do we ever really know what types of people we are dating??????????????????
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