When is it time to leave?

When is it time to leave an unhealthy relationship? We all should have an idea of what an unhealthy relationship consists of; lying, cheating, being taken advantage of, constant arguing, physical, verbal, or emotional abuse. I understand we have all been in vulnerable situations because for most people being somewhat vulnerable in relationships is a silent requirement. But, I have noticed that as Native women, we all know that when we truly love a man, there is nothing in this world we wouldn’t do for him and we have his back in every capacity imaginable, because we love hard! However, if he takes our good loving for granted and constantly abuses our love, how do we determine a temporary “rut” in a relationship versus being in an unhealthy relationship? I have come across many beautiful Native sisters in my life, but I return back to the low self-esteem theme as a major reason why my sisters will not leave their man. One Native sister in particular I met recently stated that she used to have a great life, great career, etc...until she met her boyfriend. She followed him to an urban city, couldn’t find a job, and cannot seem to connect to her partner. She seems in denial that he may be cheating and is an alcoholic, but she keeps holding onto the “good” times, which has not happened for them in a long time. In the process, she keeps putting herself down. I almost want to shake her and tell her, “GIRL, wake-up, he doesn’t want you!” But, who am I to say that, I know she will leave when she is ready. I believe that with her and many other Native sisters’ situations, their main reason for staying is lack of self-confidence. Many think they cannot make it on their own, especially if they have kids. For those who are in those situations, I hope and pray that you will have the courage and strength to leave someday. That is why as Native women we should build a great support system for our sisters, instead of being judgmental or “hating.” We should uplift each other! If we cannot do this for ourselves, who will?